National Adoption Month!
I realize November is coming to a close, but what I didn't realize is that it was National Adoption Month! Man, we'll see if I can stick with this for a year and have a bunch of fun stuff next year.
The Dave Thomas Foundation leads National Adoption Month by providing awareness and resources to the public and adoptee families. Growing up, I and my family weren't aware of resources available, albeit limited at the time. My parents did an excellent job in raising me and I am lucky that I don't have serious psychological distress (as can be apparent in adoptees), adoption resources are invaluable. Especially for trans-racial/national and mixed race adoptees.
One of the most common approaches from white parents is colorblind racism. Obviously, parents don't mean it as racism, but that doesn't mean it comes without harm. While adoptive parents are the epitome of unconditional, blind love, refusing to recognize racial differences is not only unrealistic, but it can prevent children from coping with racism. Outside even the adoptee's immediate family, racial appearance is going to be immediately recognized. Children recognize racial difference. CHILDREN CAN RECOGNIZE RACIAL DIFFERENCES. They may not call it "race," they may not act on it, but children learn the world by putting meaning to their surroundings. Everything mankind recognizes can fit into different categories, "islands of meaning" (look that up, I know this is my blog post but I can't explain everything in depth). If we prevent children, especially nonwhite adoptees, from acknowledging race, we are also preventing children from understanding racism. Instead, a child who is a victim of racism (yes, it happens and if YOU cannot recognize it, you cannot adopt a nonwhite child) will see discriminate treatment and not have the tools to cope with it. And I don't think I have to explain the adverse effects racism (bullying) has on a person, much less a child.
Furthermore, in a study by Gina Samuels, a trans-racial adoptee, the researcher finds implications that appearance really does matter to families. While it won't stop a parent from loving their child, different appearances do have an effect in how family members connect (parent/child, siblings, etc). Resources for both parents and children about race can help cope and mitigate possible effects. It's also a healthy way to start discourse and remind children that recognizing race is not bad!
Resources can also connect adoptees to networks of other adoptees! In the age of social media, it's much easier to for adoptees to share their stories (in say, blog form), but younger children may not be allowed or know of different social networks. Camps or other programs can help children feel less disparate from other kids, and can help them articulate feelings about adoption and race. Things white or racially different siblings/parents/family members may not be able to understand or help with.
My parents are honestly the best, and my mom will always be one of my best friends and my MOTHER (for realsies). However, they have never experienced racism; and the worst part (FOR ME) is that when they see me experience racism (intersectional, at that), they also feel negative consequences. As parents do when their child is being bullied and they cannot stop it.
Despite being adopted, I feel no need to connect with my birth family, (except maybe medical records) or disconnect with my adoptive family. However, I am also proud to be a Korean woman! Racial differences and all, my family chose me. I'm like 93% sure they don't regret it.
The Dave Thomas Foundation leads National Adoption Month by providing awareness and resources to the public and adoptee families. Growing up, I and my family weren't aware of resources available, albeit limited at the time. My parents did an excellent job in raising me and I am lucky that I don't have serious psychological distress (as can be apparent in adoptees), adoption resources are invaluable. Especially for trans-racial/national and mixed race adoptees.
One of the most common approaches from white parents is colorblind racism. Obviously, parents don't mean it as racism, but that doesn't mean it comes without harm. While adoptive parents are the epitome of unconditional, blind love, refusing to recognize racial differences is not only unrealistic, but it can prevent children from coping with racism. Outside even the adoptee's immediate family, racial appearance is going to be immediately recognized. Children recognize racial difference. CHILDREN CAN RECOGNIZE RACIAL DIFFERENCES. They may not call it "race," they may not act on it, but children learn the world by putting meaning to their surroundings. Everything mankind recognizes can fit into different categories, "islands of meaning" (look that up, I know this is my blog post but I can't explain everything in depth). If we prevent children, especially nonwhite adoptees, from acknowledging race, we are also preventing children from understanding racism. Instead, a child who is a victim of racism (yes, it happens and if YOU cannot recognize it, you cannot adopt a nonwhite child) will see discriminate treatment and not have the tools to cope with it. And I don't think I have to explain the adverse effects racism (bullying) has on a person, much less a child.
Furthermore, in a study by Gina Samuels, a trans-racial adoptee, the researcher finds implications that appearance really does matter to families. While it won't stop a parent from loving their child, different appearances do have an effect in how family members connect (parent/child, siblings, etc). Resources for both parents and children about race can help cope and mitigate possible effects. It's also a healthy way to start discourse and remind children that recognizing race is not bad!
Resources can also connect adoptees to networks of other adoptees! In the age of social media, it's much easier to for adoptees to share their stories (in say, blog form), but younger children may not be allowed or know of different social networks. Camps or other programs can help children feel less disparate from other kids, and can help them articulate feelings about adoption and race. Things white or racially different siblings/parents/family members may not be able to understand or help with.
My parents are honestly the best, and my mom will always be one of my best friends and my MOTHER (for realsies). However, they have never experienced racism; and the worst part (FOR ME) is that when they see me experience racism (intersectional, at that), they also feel negative consequences. As parents do when their child is being bullied and they cannot stop it.
Despite being adopted, I feel no need to connect with my birth family, (except maybe medical records) or disconnect with my adoptive family. However, I am also proud to be a Korean woman! Racial differences and all, my family chose me. I'm like 93% sure they don't regret it.
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| lol guess who |
Thanks for reading my post! If you think it's relatable or know someone who needs to read it (if you’re using it to call out someone's racism) feel free to share! 살있어
-thesometimesasian
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