The middle ground minority
My identity as a Person of Color is probably the most annoying part of me to white people. Maybe it's because they hate when I call them white and call out racism that society beats into them or maybe it's because they see me as white.
With my friends and family, being adopted and raised by a white family in America, many people do not see the problem with saying that because I'm so normal that I'm not even Asian (I know, I know, next blog post, we're staying on topic). While the exact phrasing varies, the idea remains. I have assimilated to white society so well, I do not pass their racial litmus test. Maybe it's my perfect English or the fact I don't wear a hanbok everyday, but I am not ethnic enough to be Asian. Since I do not have any stereotypical identifiers, I do not fit into the box that a white society has made for "Asians/Orientals" (again, another post, so much to go through). This creates a disconnect between my race/ethnicity and my "personality" (and tbh, yeah I'm pretty white).
With absolute strangers, being Asian is already being prepared to hold back eyerolls and correct people. I heavy sigh as I prepare to type this part, but it really is exhausting how often people give into the same stereotypical ideas around Asian women. To go off topic for a minute, (I know, what makes this detour special compared to the others, bear with me: ) people seem to question the validity of my experiences with racism. Now, if I interpret an event as an experience against me due to my race, the psychological backlash will be that of racism and it's not really up to anyone but me to decide what that is; but the way to really determine if it's racism is this: it happens over and over in different circumstances/with different people. Same type of event. That shows it's a societal pattern; a shared sentiment among the public.
Back on topic: people see the "model minority." For men, usually white men, it means I am not quite a woman of color, but "better" than a white woman. Not only am I an "exotic beauty" (and yes, that has been said to my face) but I also represent a conservative set of family values, and exude demure sex appeal. I am the nonwhite person white people aren't afraid enough to shoot in the street, but not privileged enough to be a real person. For a long time, Asian Americans weren't included in the race narrative (even with WWII). Again, the racial litmus test is applied in a different way. Despite not passing for white, my skin is light enough to avoid too much controversy. I am not using this aspect to disregard the massive racism Asians face everyday, or to dismiss the tribulations of Brown Asian Americans, but to describe my own experience. This often is enough for white people to attempt to justify or throw away instances of racism.
While it'd be a lie to say that I have enjoyed the privileges of not being dark in America, especially in a white supremacist state, it does come with its setbacks. It reaffirms racist stereotypes through people's ideas of normalcy and denies Asian Americans the validity of their experiences of racism. There's the extra challenge of not feeling culturally tied to your race that trans-national adoptees and kids who have grown up in America face.
I don't have comforting words or "here's how I cope" advice, but I do have a sociology theorem. The Thomas theorem: "If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences." That may make you feel a little crazy, in that "nothing is real," so if that's the case, I have bad news. Nothing is real. Everything you're experiencing is through a man-made lens. (And people still decided to create racism. And sexism.)
Think about that.
Thanks for reading my post! If you think it's relatable or know someone who needs to read it (if you’re using it to call out someone's racism) feel free to share! 살있어
-thesometimesasian
With my friends and family, being adopted and raised by a white family in America, many people do not see the problem with saying that because I'm so normal that I'm not even Asian (I know, I know, next blog post, we're staying on topic). While the exact phrasing varies, the idea remains. I have assimilated to white society so well, I do not pass their racial litmus test. Maybe it's my perfect English or the fact I don't wear a hanbok everyday, but I am not ethnic enough to be Asian. Since I do not have any stereotypical identifiers, I do not fit into the box that a white society has made for "Asians/Orientals" (again, another post, so much to go through). This creates a disconnect between my race/ethnicity and my "personality" (and tbh, yeah I'm pretty white).
With absolute strangers, being Asian is already being prepared to hold back eyerolls and correct people. I heavy sigh as I prepare to type this part, but it really is exhausting how often people give into the same stereotypical ideas around Asian women. To go off topic for a minute, (I know, what makes this detour special compared to the others, bear with me: ) people seem to question the validity of my experiences with racism. Now, if I interpret an event as an experience against me due to my race, the psychological backlash will be that of racism and it's not really up to anyone but me to decide what that is; but the way to really determine if it's racism is this: it happens over and over in different circumstances/with different people. Same type of event. That shows it's a societal pattern; a shared sentiment among the public.
Back on topic: people see the "model minority." For men, usually white men, it means I am not quite a woman of color, but "better" than a white woman. Not only am I an "exotic beauty" (and yes, that has been said to my face) but I also represent a conservative set of family values, and exude demure sex appeal. I am the nonwhite person white people aren't afraid enough to shoot in the street, but not privileged enough to be a real person. For a long time, Asian Americans weren't included in the race narrative (even with WWII). Again, the racial litmus test is applied in a different way. Despite not passing for white, my skin is light enough to avoid too much controversy. I am not using this aspect to disregard the massive racism Asians face everyday, or to dismiss the tribulations of Brown Asian Americans, but to describe my own experience. This often is enough for white people to attempt to justify or throw away instances of racism.
While it'd be a lie to say that I have enjoyed the privileges of not being dark in America, especially in a white supremacist state, it does come with its setbacks. It reaffirms racist stereotypes through people's ideas of normalcy and denies Asian Americans the validity of their experiences of racism. There's the extra challenge of not feeling culturally tied to your race that trans-national adoptees and kids who have grown up in America face.
I don't have comforting words or "here's how I cope" advice, but I do have a sociology theorem. The Thomas theorem: "If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences." That may make you feel a little crazy, in that "nothing is real," so if that's the case, I have bad news. Nothing is real. Everything you're experiencing is through a man-made lens. (And people still decided to create racism. And sexism.)
Think about that.
Thanks for reading my post! If you think it's relatable or know someone who needs to read it (if you’re using it to call out someone's racism) feel free to share! 살있어
-thesometimesasian
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